


I Will Not Kiss You

by HoldmeHeathen



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 21:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoldmeHeathen/pseuds/HoldmeHeathen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after Frank dies of cancer, written from Gerard's perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Not Kiss You

I hate the colour blue.

I hate the colour blue because it's what was stretched across the walls of the hospital you were forced to reside in.

I hate the colour blue because it's the colour of the gown you had to wear.

I hate the colour blue because it followed you, whether it be in the tiles of your bathroom or the water that came from the tap.

I hate the colour blue because it's what my brother used to describe how he felt about your passing. How dare he use that colour, that same colour that watched you die, to describe a feeling towards you. The colour that you wanted our son's room to be painted, the son you won't ever see grow up because of something so violent, so disastrous.

I hate the colour blue because it was the only thing we could see from your window in the hospital. The blue sky taunted us, taunted you. It taunted a man that couldn't walk, that couldn't escape it's colour. It taunted a man that only saw blue when he looked around his room, the only room he'd see until he died.

I hate the colour blue because it was the colour of the flowers I was given at your funeral.

I hate the colour blue because it is the same colour as the ocean that you wanted to sail in. You were stripped of that chance; and now that colour haunts me.

I hate the colour blue because it reminds me of all that you were. From the walls to the tap water in that building, you spent months there. You were a part of that building. Your picture is even up on one of the walls; you are a memorial to the doctors success in that place.

I hate the colour blue because it's the same colour of the tears I drowned in the night we were told it was back. I remember collapsing in our room, sobbing, screaming, while you were outside, unaware that I was breaking. I didn't want to scare you. I didn't mind that you couldn't hear.

I hate the colour blue because it's the colour that I could see in your lips as you laid in that casket, the blue that the makeup failed to cover.

I wished that it was me instead of you; you had so much to do. You couldn't leave yet.

But, even though I say I hate the colour, I still have a deep love for it.

It was your favourite colour.

It was the colour that you said made you feel calm.

It was the first colour that caught your eye when we went paint shopping for our new house.

It was the colour of the shirt you were wearing when I first laid eyes on you.

It was the colour I associated you with.

It was the last colour you saw before you died, and I'm glad that it was your favourite.

But now I wonder if you hate it like I do.


End file.
